In my mind, the extra hormones my body was producing during the short time I was all knocked up treated my depression quite nicely. I had more energy, more motivation and was happier during that two weeks than I have been without my medication in years. YEARS! Perhaps it was all in my messed up little head. Finally having what I'd been wanting for so long.
Though I was devastated when I found out my dreams of being with child were being flushed down the pooper, I wasn't depressed. Sad, angry, hateful and every other emotion out there, but not depressed.
Today that depression is rearing it's ugly head. I haven't taken my Lexapro since July 5th. I've been fine until today. Last Thursday I had my first of what would be my weekly blood tests. My hcg hormone was 3. What little bit of extra hormones I had are officially gone. And today I'm feeling it.
Today, I'm back in the funk. All I did, all day long, was lay on the couch. Then I got up and did a wee bit o research. There's not been a lot of research on lexapro and pregnancy, but what they have found is that it's not safe to take after 20 weeks. Honestly, I don't want to take it at all once I am pregnant. I don't really want the risk. But... I gotta do something.
Calling the doc tomorrow. Gotta find out when we can go for round 2, if they're going to put me on clomid, and how these happy pills are going to fall in to place. It would be nice if I could safely take them through the first tri-mester... or just through the first 8-10 weeks... or if I didn't need them at all... grrr....
2 comments:
Damn depression. I forgot to take my crazy pills last night and I am just counting down the hours...
That's crappy. I'm sure there is something we can do to fix this...um, watch some gooood man movies, take online adolecent quizzes and giggle about them for hours, hang skanky lingerie on someones front door, shopping therapy, yes. Yes, I do believe we can tide you over until your all good and knocked up again :)
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